"What we want to say 'yes' to."

The House of Mirrors
Forfatter: Kajsa Gullberg
Forlag: Dewi Lewis Publishing (England)
PHOTO BOOK / Photographer Kajsa Gullberg is a Socrates light in the sex club. The photographs from the club are blurred and reddish.


In 2017, photographer visited Kajsa Gullberg a swingers club in Copenhagen in a private matter. Gullberg wanted to expand the image of herself and her sexuality, and for the first time she felt really comfortable: I sex clubs she could explore her desire without fear of abuse or verbal embarrassment because the club's house rules are firm: A no is always a no, intolerance is unacceptable, and alcohol can only be consumed in modest amounts. Rules like these create a sexual safespace for club users: a place where they dare to unfold because, as long as the rules are observed, there are no physical or social consequences. Gullberg's experience was that it was especially a space that the club's women enjoyed.

In an interview in Weekendavisen in Denmark in connection with the publication of the book The House of Mirrors who takes us into the club, as Gullberg experienced it, she stated: "I certainly do not think all men are offenders, but right now they are completely on the lord's ground because they have to stand for the whole sexual initiative, while never allowing women to define their own desires. MeToo was largely a study of the right to say 'no' and it is extremely important. But we also need to investigate what we want to say 'yes' to. "

The woman's dual role is difficult to manage. As a woman, one must navigate between prohibition and injunction, be virtuous outside and covetous at home. And while a man with many sex partners is gaining recognition, a similar woman will lose it.

Own satisfaction

MeToo welcomed a searchlight on infringement and abuse cases, the culture's view of the woman and the woman's right to say 'no', but we still lack the recognition of the woman's right to say 'yes', on her own terms. And that's what happened at the club: The rules set women free, they became their desires conscious. With foreign analogies looked for Gullberg's unusual female images in circulation. She compares the women of the club, one by one, with hungry lions, clever hawks and children in candy stores without adults. All are the women who do not follow the patriarchate guidelines for the woman. It is women who are more concerned with their own satisfaction than men.

The Houses of Mirrors will statue new examples of the woman.

In the club is fat shaming banned, and behind the walls the traditional power structures of society are turned upside down spontaneously and without deliberation: «I do not define myself as a feminist, she responded, but I can see what you mean. And she laughed. "

A body and sex positivist manifesto

Gullberg is a Socrates light in the sex club. Questions make club users self-reflect: «Do you feel dominated when you get penetrated, I asked. Many people say yes without hesitation.» And yet, a man doesn't think he dominates Gullberg when he penetrates her: «Well, of course not one of them answered, but maybe I would feel dominated if you penetrated me because it's not part of the norm?» A reasoning is tried, carefully as a matter, and not just the feeling of being dominated. The valorization of this feeling is culturally conditioned – depending on which gender experiences it.

Ironically, it is not the photographs of the club, blurred and red-tinted, but the words that make the biggest impression on me. Gullberg's book is both a body and a sex positivist manifesto: The Houses of Mirrors will statue new examples of the woman.

Mirrors in other women types can potentially change a self-image that is limited by culture. What do you see when you look in a mirror? Social power structures? For whose sake do we stick to the stereotypes? Would you mind if your partner had more lovers if it was common? What makes us feel the way we do? How influential are we? And how familiar are you with your own desires?

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